y cant i stop thinking about u?
is it because of the way u look at me when you want to kiss me
is it the way you hold me when i cry in your arms
is it because of the way you look at me when u are mad at me
is it the way ur lips feel on mine
is it because of the way i feel when i hear your voice?
is it because of the feeling i get when you say "i adore u"
is it because of the way your eyes lit up when u see me?
is it because of the way i feel like i always wanna be with you

i just cant stop thinking bout u :-(

i just wanna get that out of my system.. i have a problem.i seem 2 be able to help pple thru their own troubles. but i cannot help myself. whether it is school related family related or boy related, i always have the right words to say to my friends and what i tell them to do is usually the right thing and they get their expected results. y cant i do dat for myself? y cant i take d advice that i give others?
arrghh!!

xx

once bitten twice shy...

i cant believe it.
my ex (not the one in my last post) has been on my case for like 5 months now. he has been begging me to come back with him. i did not want to because i think he is just very stupid. while we were dating, he told me that i was the only girl and that he has not been dating for awhile. and of course i believed him and he sounded so genuine. i later found out that he was still with his ex and has been with her for awhile now. when i confronted him about it, he swears that thy just got back and he was going to tell me very soon.. when is soon please? at least did he not have the decency to let me know before the reunion happened?
Anyway, he has been on my case since november saying that he is sorry and that he would not do it again. i told him to his face that i do not trust him and that he is very very silly for doing that to me. i kept begging and sending me messages and showing up at my doorstep and other very annoying things like that. so when that my baby messed up i decided to see if i could cut him some slack. i then decided to meet up with him so that we could discuss stuff. when we met up. i asked him if he was seeing anyone else and he said no. i asked again and i reminded him of whet he did last time. he said he was single but that he had a babe but the girl was to clingy so he broke up with her awhile back. he then apologized for what he did and promised never to do it again. i believed him and we decided to meet up later in the week
i woke up and what did i find on this facebook page? a whole album dedicated to him and his "ex" with comments like 'you guys look so cute' and 'you guys are meant to be'; and him replying with comments like 'yeah.. shes the one' and ' i love her so much'
i was like WTF?? how can you do this to me?! again!!!!

to say i feel stupid is an understatement.
he is gonna call today to when he should come pick me up.. hmmmm

xx

boyyss

u know how boys are always on your case when they want you to notice them and all of a sudden they just stop when they realize that they "have you". and then at this point poor you might honestly be falling for them or you might be in too deep.
i am just soo pissed off! there is this guy that has been on my case since like october last year and i have been putting him on a very long thing like not returning his fone calls and basically ignoring him . but then i was feeling bad for him and all because i thought he was very genuine. then i started responding a little like calling him back like once a week. i finally told him that i dont trust him because he is friends with my ex and i am sure that they are all the same. he swore on everything that he isnt like him and that he is cool and will never cheat or anything. i believed him.
and now that i finally tell him that i lie him he is relaxed and tryna "take things slow" ARRGGHHH!
and i really want to talk 2 him rite nw.

x

my baby...

i still love u...

i never knew that anything like that could happen to me cause of the way that i usually carried myself and all. he really suffered in my hands oo!! there was no excuse give on this earth that i did not give this boy so that he will leave me alone. lets call him F.
I met F on my birthday two years ago. i just got back from london and was looking all bloated and stuff. i didnt have a party or anything so my closest friend just stopped by to give me a present . on her way out, i saw him... all 6 foot hotness of him. i started blabbing rubbish when i saw him... when i was greeting my friends mother, i was like "good morning ma" when it was like 11pm!! and when she was like "hows ur mum?" i go " oh they just slept off" i felt so embarrased .. :-S
anyway, i just kept thinking about him for like a week and then i receive a fone call and it went something like this

F: hey nameless
me: umm.. hey...
F: am really sorry to call at this time but i just wanted to see how you are doing
me: am ok..
F: my name is F... i am ur frndz cuzn.. i was wiv ha on ur birthday
me: (OMGGGG!!) ermm.. i cant rmbr u.. (hw can i 4get?)
F: when you where talking to my aunt u were like good morning when i am sure it was well past 10
me: ahh!! u dnt ave 2 remind me bout that...

and the boring conversation went on like that.. he kept on calling me everyday at the exact time so i was always looking foward to his calls. then after awhile we started that free call thing with MTN so we could talk for longer hours (at no cost) and we would talk from 12.30 to 4.00 everyday. he helped me through my weight issue but never mocked me about it. he would follow me jogging every morning and to the gym at night just to make sure i feel good about myself.

i remember the first time we kissed.. he was so shy about it. its not like he did not know how to or anything.. i guess he did not just know how i would react or something.. it was so sweet.. not hurried or anything.. just calm and peaceful. as we continued in our relationship, i started to call him my baby amongst my friends and all.. and the name just stuck.. baby.. All of a sudden, it did not seem like a random name anymore.. ( sounds cheezy huh?)

i never told him about my travelling for uni. i just could not bring myself to tell him. i told him that i was going 2 unilag and he was so thrilled cos we were in d same department and he was like we would be able to see him more often. when i did tell him.. it was just to dramatic for me to even describe.
at first he started laughing and was like i should stop playing with him. but when i was like i am leaving two weeks he finally realized that i was serious. he obviously was vexed and did not wanna talk to me.. i begged and pleaded and then he finally called me back.

he promised that he would never leave me and that he loves me and that we should make this work. but knowing him now.. i was like i dont think you would be honest because i wont be here for you when you need me. he swore heaven and earth.

*and look at where it landed me*

just wondering

is it true that you can only fall in love once? i have some friends that anytime they see a potential, they believe that they have fallen in 'love' with the person. i am just wondering.

and how can you tell when you have fallen in love? can't it be confused with lust or even infatuation?
i have soo many questions that need to be answered
:(

x